An open letter to the webmasters

Dear webmasters,

I could suggest all manner of ways in which you could make less of a "hot mess" of clusterfucked Flash. I could point out all the navigational quirks which make your content confusing. I could plead for the use of fewer images to display plain text.

But all that pales in comparrison to the fact your site gets slammed regularly, and the strain on your PHP-database backend results in glacial load times.

Instead, I would like to propose the judicious use of the following line of code:

header("Cache-Control: private");

By allowing users to cache the pages on your site, you can reduce the frustration they feel when they attempt to access a page to which they’ve been before, only to be hindered by a non-responsive server. I started using this line of code when I started getting frustrated by the load times of my own websites.

And my websites never had to contend with the kind of traffic you guys get.

If you could somehow work that into the code for the site, it would be a tremendous help and probably a nice ease on your servers.

Looking out for your best interests,


Series premieres, or why I finally got TiVo

Eight programmable slots on a VCR isn’t very conducive to catching new shows if all eight are occupied by returning shows.

It’s why I didn’t get into Lost till season two. It’s why I didn’t start watching new episodes of Battlestar Galactica till season 2.5. It’s why I waited till The West Wing and Without a Trace went into syndication before I watched either show.

Now that I have TiVo, I can do something I haven’t been able to do till now — catch a series premiere when it premieres.

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In the criminal justice system …

So, the start of the season for mothership Law & Order, and the headline from which the writers rip is … Britney Spears’ parenting skills?

I guess that’s a way to speak to younger viewers.

They didn’t leave anything out — Britney and K-Fed, TomKat, Nick and Jessica … at least they were thorough. Next week is the MySpace episode. It does not portend well this season, does it not?

I’m going to wait for a few more episodes before I weigh in on the new cast members. Alana de Garza at least succeeded by not being so obviously bad as LawBarbie.

The season premiere of SVU waits for me on the TiVo, and I didn’t realize I had programmed a season pass for CI, so I missed that premiere. I’ll have to find out when it repeats on USA.

‘Psych’ returns for 2nd season

News that Psych would be picked up for a second season leaked weeks ago, but USA Network made an official announcement. The second half of season one picks up again in January.

I was interested in this show because of Dulé Hill, who played the understated Charlie Young on The West Wing. The pre-season commercials plugging the show before its July 7 premiere didn’t give me much hope — the show looked pretty bad by those commercials. ("Dude! This CD case is so sweet!")

But I gave the pilot a chance. Hill and James Roday, who plays fake psychic detective Shawn Spencer, have such a terrific chemistry, they make the friendship between their two characters feel like it has deep roots. I came back week after week to watch that chemistry.

It’s nice to encounter a show where suspending your belief is an enjoyable part of it.

Of delusion and ego

I was sorry to see Kayne do so poorly with the black-and-white challenge since it meant more of Sebelia’s asshattery. If he makes the final three, that’s it — I’m writing the season off.

If he wins, I’m writing the show off. (And it’s the first season I’ve ever watched all the way through.)

Sebelia is too much of a fuckwit to allow me to appreciate his work. Richard Wagner was a womanizing anti-Semite, but he created work of such magnitude, it’s studied by students and professors. Sebelia’s art isn’t good enough to overcome his bullshit.

At this point, I’m not going to expend any time and energy authoring a DVD set from my TiVo MPEGs. I’m not interested in seeing any of the re-runs.

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‘Gilmore Girls’ s.3-5 on sale @ Target

DVD boxed sets of televisions shows are mighty esspensive, so I’m always comparing prices when I stop by the DVD racks of various retailers.

Gilmore Girls viewers may be interested to know seasons 3-5 of the show are on sale at Target for $18.99, more than 50% off suggested price. Sale ends Oct. 16.

Of course, I can only speak of the Target location around the corner from my apartment, so check the location nearest you blah blah blah …

Without commercial interruption

It’s taken me a month of experimentation, but I finally managed to find the right set of tools to create commercial-free DVDs of shows recorded on my TiVo.

And man has it been a tedious process.

Before I recount that saga, here’s what I ended up with:

So, here’s how the story begins.

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Matter, anti-matter

Last week, a friend of mine commented how she couldn’t savor Angela Keslar’s departure from Project Runway because Penis Neck won the challenge.

This week, it was my turn to feel the same.

I’ve been waiting for that talentless whack job Vincent Libretti to get the axe, and when he finally does, Penis Neck wins another challenge.

God, I’m really starting to hate this show.

The only thing I look forward to is not hearing Libretti open his mouth. My tolerance for delusional bullshit is extremely low.

Thank you, Thing

The Addams Family is heading to DVD on Oct. 24, so says TV Shows on DVD.

KHON-TV in Honolulu aired syndicated episodes of the show in the late afternoon, right when we would come home from school. I think I was 9 or 10 years old at the time, and the bizzare humor of the show was definitely something I could appreciate at the time.

I just may tune into TV Land on Friday to see how well this show wears as an adult. Or I just may buy the DVD itself. I have a better appreciation of The Muppet Show in my adulthood, even though I enjoyed it immensely as a child.